Life update

I don't know what to write but I feel like I should, I have so much on my mind. Let's see....

Midterms ended a week or two ago, about the same time my grandpa had passed away. I didn't know him as much as my cousins did, I hardly spent time at his house and I'm closer to my grandma anyway. My last couple visits to see him, he couldn't even remember me. I had to introduce myself as "Dosie's kid" and as stupid as this probably sounds, my heart shrunk a little when he didn't ask how I'm doing in school, what's going on with me now or how my dad was. It went more like

Me: We drove from New Mexico to see you!
Grandpa: Oh, you're from New Mexico? So how do you like California?
Grandma: She's Dosie's kid!
Grandpa: Oh, you've seen Dosie?
Me: Yes, he's my dad.
Grandpa: OH.

My grandma told me how bad he felt and apologized, but I understood enough. I'm happy he doesn't have to suffer anymore but at the same time I still miss our small talks and his hugs and firm handshake when I saw him. Honestly, I'm more worried about how my grandma is holding up. Today is her birthday and tomorrow is supposed to be their anniversary. Probably won't be the happiest of the two. Of all the deaths I've experienced, my grandpa was the closest to me. It isn't saying much considering we weren't very close at all, but it was the first one I legitimately cried about. He was a hard worker and lived a long and healthy life.

My mom's dad passed earlier this year too, but I never knew him enough and didn't feel as effected by it. I'm just not the type to be upset over a relationship I never even had. Anyway, I don't have any grandpas now and that's an odd thought.

I feel like I've relaxed too much after midterms. The only classes I've managed to maintain an A in was terminology and office skills, and because of my awful lab practical, my A&P grade is now a low B. I've decided I need to go back to my study habits I had a the beginning of the semester.

Which means no practicing music like I wanted. However, I did sign myself up to do background work for Breaking Bad and they contacted me back just to confirm that I'm 18 and that I'm a New Mexico resident. I miss film acting, this is probably the closest I can get to it for a while. Maybe once my life calms down a little I can keep going to my classes and actually start looking for a real agent after I get my headshots updated. Also, I've been holding off painting for art to hang up on our walls way too frigging long! I NEED MY ART & DIY FIX, wah.

xoxo
Angie