tough times tough times

It's been a rough couple of days, I just came back from the hospital to get my injuries checked out, just for the sake of it and to say that I did seek medical attention. It was my first car accident and a bit of a bad one too. Long story short, someone ran a red light and just happened to hit us. My car is completely undrivable.

RIP Toyota Corolla

Basically was my first car, I've been driving it for 3 years with no tickets or accidents until that night, a total clean driving record. I just got it brand new tires, literally 3 days before, a premium car wash 2 days before, and completely filled up with gas that morning. Needless to say I'm a little heartbroken, and no matter how many times I've heard "at least you're not severely hurt" or "cars are replaceable, you're not" it doesn't make me miss it less. Luckily the guy had insurance, so hopefully everything will be paid off and we'll be starting the year with a new car. 

My aunt's letting me borrow my cousin's car at the moment, a really nice Kia Forte. My mom sold my grand piano and is sending me a lot of money, my dad's been helping me with giving advice, and Alex has been sorting most of it out with the guy's insurance company. My friend Tiffany helped by giving me a ride to school the next morning and Mikaela spent the rest of the day after school driving Alex and I to the police station, the tow place to retrieve our things from the car, and then to my aunt's to pick up the Kia. I've never been so thankful for the family and friends that are in my life right now.

We treated Mikaela and her boyfriend out to sushi for helping us out that day, when our conversation lead me to reflect on my own personal qualities.

Me: "So, after school, where do you wanna go? Like where do you wanna work for the rest of your life??"

Mikaela: "I don't know, probably like a cat hospital or a cat clinic. What about you?"

Me: "...Disney's Animal Kingdom...."

I always knew I was ambitious and that I was aiming for a lot, but I never realized just how much until then. In the midst of the accident, I felt lost and hopeless, I already don't have enough money and I couldn't imagine how I could deal with all of this, but even then I still imagined myself in a good place and still doing what I love.

I'm going to watch the Golden Globes now. Bye.

xoxo

Angie

for the sake of keeping up with this blog

Nothing really life changing has happened to me these past two months that I could write about in detail. Well since my last blog entry, I passed my first semester of the program (yay me!), my grandpa passed away, the holidays came and went, and now I'm just working and I'm about to start my second semester next week.

Now that I think about it, I began writing a blog after my grandpa passed but after I realized that it was all complete bullshit, I stopped and erased the whole thing and just didn't end up posting it. In reality we weren't close, at all. His favorite grandkids were my cousins who spent a lot more time there than my brother and I did, so he never really knew us. I never really knew him. Last time I saw him he didn't even remember who I was or that I was his oldest sons's kid. It basically went, "Oh, you're from New Mexico? How do you like California? Well have a safe trip back."

Obviously I'm not a family oriented person, otherwise I would've experienced more heartbreak over losing loved ones than I have. I don't know if that's a good thing because I'm totally unprepared for when Angelo eventually leaves and I can tell it's coming soon, and I can't even bare the thought of it right now. I keep telling myself he's energetic for his age, but even when he tries to run around, I see him slip and fall over himself and there's just so many things wrong with him that I can't afford to treat.

I'm worried about my mom and my little sister, I got a call from her today and I'm just realizing how NOT okay they are. I have half a mind to just tell her to come over here and live with me.
I'm worried about my dad, I can see he's over-victimizing himself but I know he's not okay with money and he doesn't know how to spend it either.

I am just tired of all the false hope they're both giving me.

I've been picking up more hours at work, but it seems like it's still not enough and I am just so exhausted and I don't know how I'm gonna handle all of this when school starts next week.

We'll see.

xoxo
Angie