Hellooo! It's been a good week. A few ups and downs here and there, but overall productive. I've barely had any time to think or analyze a lot of things, which is good. When I'm not thinking or worrying too much, I'm usually up to something. This week I've done a couple projects, cleaned up around the house a little bit, and to top the week off, Alex found out he might be getting a raise, which is good for us because, well, when is a raise not good?
I presented the idea of painting a chalkboard to Alex a couple weeks after we moved in, and then to Carlos (my landlord) once Alex approved of it. Carlos liked the idea, so Alex and I got to work once we came by some extra money (his sister helped in providing us with groceries and about half a year's worth of toilet paper, so we're pretty set). We picked up some painting supplies and chalkboard paint and got to work, and we were very excited and proud of the outcome. Planning to add bamboo sticks around the border, thus the strange addition to the list, which has already been pointed out a couple times.
The bonding experience with Alex was a little of what I needed. He's in class in the early mornings until mid-afternoon, and then off to work in the evening until midnight. We typically only spend about four hours together every day and it's a bit of a bummer. When we are together, he likes to cuddle and hold me and he's a really touchy person, which is where my bad mood starts to set in, making our time together unenjoyable to me. "Seriously, don't pick me up, stop," is something I feel like I have to tell him daily. "I just love you is all, why don't you ever want me to touch you?" he asks. I've explained a dozen times before, "I don't like being touched, I'm trying to get ready, I'm trying to do something, just leave me alone for 5 seconds at least. Let me get this done. Stop smothering me." These are what most of our fights are mainly about. Are we just not compatible? I don't know.
Don't get me wrong, I love him to death, even though I often don't show it. I think about him all day, I worry about where he is or what he's doing, but I also like keeping to myself. Just because I don't touch him all the time doesn't mean I don't love him. I look at him from across the room and smile to myself and I get the butterflies and I'm thankful for what I have. I figure that's enough. I've always favored the "best friend" type of relationship with a partner rather than the "romantic touchy cuddly cute adorable" relationship. I mean there's the honeymoon phase where that's all fine, we're really infatuated, we want to be together all the time, but it's been almost a year and a half and I feel like I'm at the point where his company is enough for me and being cuddled with here and there, but anything beyond that, unless I'm in the mood, is too much. However, I still don't feel like he's passed his honeymoon stage with me and it's a problem. I want to be able to get up from laying in bed without him pulling me back in and keeping me there. I want to be able to pass by him in the house without being picked up. All that lazy time we spend wrapped in each other's arms is time I feel could be devoted to practicing harmonizing on the guitar and keyboard or drawing or painting, walking Angelo around the neighborhood, adventuring department and thrift stores, downtown, the park, the river, or even cooking. Just getting things done and breathing in fresh air.
Doing this project with him was a relieving way we could interact without him being all over me. We were doing something productive together and we were happy and it's exactly what I want for us. Plus, I now have a chalkboard where I can feel like a kid again when I write on it!
Another thing to make me feel like the kid that I admittedly still am in my own house (very adult) was buying a couple novelty trays and a half gallon of ice cream, some twin popsicles, and italian ice! Our freezer hasn't been very full, in fact it's been pretty empty except for some frozen seafood on the freezer door. Filling it up with frozen treats felt very nostalgic and the colors make me feel like the happy, spoiled, over-privileged child that I once was.
A couple other things I've accomplished this week was sewing these felt coasters with leftover felt that we had and wrapping Tanner's (Alex's little brother) birthday present, which I like to consider something accomplished because of how I wrapped it. I think it turned out very cute, although I only started to wrap it like a normal, boring birthday present.
Tanner found it amusing. As amusing as any 13 year old kid who grew up in a reservation and couldn't tell the difference between a giraffe and an elephant would find it. He's the only 13 year old kid I know that's asked for Legos for his birthday. Usually they ask for video games these days, no? He did mention an Xbox Live card, but let's ignore that. I feel like Legos are more creative.
One more thing I'd like to blog about. I had my Animal Humane volunteer orientation today! They covered what the Animal Humane was all about and safe animal handling, which I already knew most of from my Veterinary Technology classes. Compared to the other volunteers, I was relieved over how much I actually already knew. It's one of those rare times that I ever start out ahead of everyone without expecting to, because I've started to expect everyone's had so much more experience than me in everything.
xoxo
Angie
