"I'm a Mobile"

"Everything's chaaangin', when I turn around, all out of my control~"

I feel like not many people know that song, unless you bought that Avril Lavigne album and listened to it on repeat years ago like I did. That's the song that came in mind once I read Meg Frampton's blog this morning (chandlertherobot.blogspot.com).

Meg and Dia have been my favorite band ever since my good friend's girlfriend (she's now MY girlfriend, hahaHA) introduced them to me my high school senior year about 4 years ago. Granted, once she showed me "Monster" and "Indiana" I downloaded those two songs right away (illegally, I might add; didn't help the band whatsoever and I regret that), but thinking I wouldn't care for them beyond those songs. However, I bought Here, Here, and Here once it was released and I played that album non-stop. Listening to it now brings me back to memories of bus rides to and from school. "Black Wedding" and "What If" (yes, the two singles off that album, I do remember!!) remind me of the first time I lost someone I really liked and who liked me back to a girl I really didn't like at the time, but also didn't really know that well. The entire album helped me through the heartbreak of the whole thing and helped me handle it better than I would have, although I still don't think I coped with it very well. Recently, Cocoon and It's Always Stormy In Tillamook, Dia being on The Voice, and the debut of her solo album, Red, has given me inspiration to do more things with myself. However, nothing gave me more inspiration than Meg starting her jewelry line, Chandler the Robot.

My own collection of Chandlers

I fell in love with these things, and was thrilled when Alex got me my first Chandler for Valentine's Day this year. One, being that it was only one of a hundred (or was it fifty?) Tiny Dancers, and two, I was holding something that someone I really admired put so much work into. I examined it and I wanted to do something similar, I wanted to make something. Jewelry, dolls, music, anything. I thought of things I could do, but every time I thought of something great, I would Google it and it turns out someone's already thought of it. I wanted to start something of my own, that no one else had done. I vented these feelings out to Alex, who reminded me that I could do all the things I thought of and still make it my own. Just because someone makes robot jewelry doesn't mean someone else can't make their own robot jewelry with their own style. Just because someone already makes bowtie collars for dogs or zombie felt dolls doesn't mean that I can't do it my own way or that I can't do it better.

I'm so proud of Meg, doing her own thing and supporting her younger sister in the spotlight is something I'd find very hard for myself to do. I'd feel pushed to the side somehow. I am a little upset I won't be seeing her in Santa Fe with Dia and the rest of the band, but I hope I'll still be able to meet her one of these days, just like Dia's blog says, whether it be making jewelry or making music or at an audition for a new television sitcom! Who knows, but I'll continue following her blog and supporting her all the way, just like how I'll continue supporting Meg & Dia (or whatever name they end up taking on), even if it's very different from the band I fell in love with. I'll keep looking up to her just as so many other fans do.

In the meantime I will create things, I will! I want to paint, I want to draw, I want to write and publish that book I told my little girl self I was going to write. I want to make music, improve myself on the piano and sing and play guitar and learn the ukelele. I want a sewing machine because hand-sewing hurts my back, as I'm bent over in concentration a lot of the time, but it's worth it. I need to stop wanting so much and start doing! First, I need the money. To get money I need a job, and to keep a job for longer than 3 months will be my main goal for the time being. Until then, I'll have to keep wanting and wishing and planning.

xoxo
Angie

Writing and Moving and Projects Oh My!!

I've finally decided to make a blogspot! Or use it anyway. I always viewed blogspot as being a more serious blogging platform compared to Tumblr, and recently I've just been handwriting my serious thoughts in journals and leaving my fangirlism to Tumblr. My inspiration for this blog came quickly. Alex and I busted out both of our journals while unpacking and read them both to each other. Afterward, Alex had left for work. "What am I going to do all day without the car?" I asked before he left. "Write," he answered, "You have a good head. You think things through, you're a good writer. You always have been." He was, of course, referring to A Writer's Notebook, a creative writing journal in which my mom gave me around 3rd grade that I only wrote in for a short period of time.

"If I were ever a woodchuck and got fed by a human with gum, I would fly away and never come back again, because I'm a bird!! Birds don't eat human sweets. However, if I were a human, which I am, I would love that nice, tasty, Juicy Fruit."

It's not perfect, but in my opinion, okay for a 7 year old. The commas are all in the right places and nothing is misspelled. I've only noticed recently how I've been recognized throughout school for my writing skill. I wrote a short story in pre-school about a magical clam, presented it at a school assembly, and I always had journals upon journals. I failed my 9th grade English class, but my teacher signed me up for 10th grade Advanced English anyway ("I can see you have the potential"), which I also failed. My teacher was rather frustrated with me at the end. "You're smart, and you can write damn good. The chapter summaries of Jane Eyre that you did do were perfect, but I could tell you hardly put any effort into them. They were good anyway. You just needed to put in the work. That's it. It's not that hard!" I never did like writing if someone was telling me what to write. I paid for it later in the end, barely graduating high school in time. My first college English teacher referred me to a publisher after reading the first paper that I had turned into her, but I pushed the thought out of my mind. I still wasn't convinced my writing was any good.

Right now, I'm barely starting to get settled in this duplex I like to refer to as a house. I'm stealing Wi-Fi from the cheap hotel from across the street and taking in my landlord's second-hand cigarette smoke (or it may be the smoke from the nearby wildfire) as he assembles the water pump for the swamp cooler. Once we have a sofa, cable, internet, and the dog run built by the side of the house, will I really feel at home, hopefully. In all honesty, I haven't felt "at home" since we lived in that castle of a house in Lake Elsinore. Since my parents' divorce, moving to a different house every single year, I've left more and more things that made me feel at home in boxes, and prepared myself for the next time we've had to move again. And again. And again. This time I'm on my own, without my dad or my brother, Greg, or my mom. But...I'm not alone. I have Alex with me, away at school or work as often as he is. I have my cat, Bridgette, and my dog, Angelo. I just need to find activities to distract me. Usually Greg is here for me to say "Let's do something!" and we'd go and pass time at the mall, Hastings, or just to go out and get some frozen yogurt or boba. I do not have the luxury of Greg being present anymore, and my dad now lives at the apartment I just moved out of across the city and gas prices don't agree with my budget at the moment. I do have some DIY projects in mind.

This little guy was a Christmas gift for my best buddy Sean. That's what we're calling it now, right? We were Skyping last night and he told his navy friends that I'm his "best buddy." Rad. Anyway, this is a bigger version of the classic zombie doll from the book Zombie Felties by Nicola Tedman & Sarah Skeate. I'd like to make my own custom felt dolls, but first I'd have to design them, which would just add more fun to the project.

This is a bowtie collar I made Angelo to make him look "classier." Uggie from The Artist was my actual inspiration for this, combined with Josh Macedo's signature look thing (badcgijosh.tumblr.com). It'd be cool if I could make more for other dogs and maybe even sell them. So far, a lot of people have told me that they think he looks silly, but I love it. 

I have a lot more projects in mind that I want to do about the house, like making my own custom made blinds and turning the heater in the living room into a shelf. We'll see what happens with our budget, I suppose. Our landlord seems open to any type of renovation, what with this being an old adobe house and all.

Subscribe for more "living on my own this is so scary help me jesus christ" adventures. Maybe I can even add some of my Tumblr blog's humor to this more serious blog to bring in subscribers. Who am I kidding, no one cares. I should make some music or do something to make myself more popular in the meantime.

xoxo

Angie